I bid you the holy word of peace. And hello. And calm. And sangfroid and equanimity and equipoise.
- You must relax and focus.
- Be frightened but don’t panic.
- Listen and learn.
- Stock up on data.
- Fill your larder with facts and information and throw out expired fear.
- Lose the friends who bring you down for they aren’t friends.
- Turn off virulent social media.
- Never spend any time listening to anyone screaming about martial law who spells it Marshall.
- Ignore anyone who confuses lockdown with quarantine with self-quarantine with isolation.
- Walk away from those weaving and knitting fantastic yarns and scripts of Bill Gates and Soros and the dread (your favorite here), patented viruses and biowarfare. [It might be true, but not now.]
- Skip those who want to remind you constantly of how Europe is screaming for a reprieve and release and we’re next.
- Lose the number of anyone constantly texting you as to the latest death toll.
- Close your eyes to mindless media admonitions and threats that you’ve heard to the point of exhaustion.
- Eighty-six the incessant, interminable, insufferable and incomprehensibly soul paralyzing. You’ve seen your fill of empty shelves and know every last toilet paper joke. You’ve seen store runs and folks with the runs (see TP joke references infra).
And now a word on toilet paper is in order. Why? Where’d the connection come from? Why toilet paper runs (OUCH! Very punny). Paronomasia aside, have folks confused COVID19 with GI distress? Is this the milk and bread bit that we see during hurricanes and storms? When this finally abates and common sense abides we’ll tackle this one, but not now.
This is going to be tough. Rough. Bad. Serious. But it will not destroy us. Repeat.
It will not destroy us.
It will not destroy us.
It will not destroy us.
It will not destroy us.
But don’t say that to those media clowns looking to burnish the Emmy reel with their latest fear porn installment, live from the bowels of despair. Please, Ted Baxter, more clips of an empty Times Square. More mindless MOS and citizen interviews from the monosyllabic and drooling. More filler, Ted. More hackneyed overdone overplayed overdose over the top.
We will get through this.
We will get through this.
We will get through this.
We will get through this.
Stay the ___ home. Reintroduce yourself to your kids. Read. Play board games. Talk. Laugh. Clean. Clean closets. Drawers. Do stuff. Write. Jot. Draw. Sketch. Call old friends on the phone. Remember the phone? Don’t text them. Call them. Start your own YouTube channel. Video your grandmother (if you’re lucky enough to have her with you) making a favorite delicacy. Interview a grandparent. Learn of his history. (Had I been wise enough to have thought of this earlier.) Watch lectures, learn stupid magic tricks. Play hide the soap. (I’ll get back with you later on that one.)
And #STFU (ask your kids) if you find yourself whining and kvetching. No one cares how you’re put out by this event that is being shared literally by everyone on the planet. And while we’re on the subject, learn the difference between literally and figuratively. Just saying.
But in the meantime. Laugh. Take notes and keep a diary because when this is over (and it will be) you’ll want to remember the finer points of our collective insanity.
And one more thing. Remember something. The election is 230 days away. Joe Biden will most probably be the Democratic nominee even if he has no idea of the year or where he is. He could very well be the nominee and that means he’s malleable and impressionable and is the perfect Manchurian candidate. The Pinocchio to the [DS] Geppetto. The servant of the globalist cabal. The marionette. The sockpuppet. The Potemkin POTUS. Viruses can be contained, systemic corruption and malign corruption can’t. It reproduces and replicates faster than anything imaginable.
Donald Trump must win reelection.
Donald Trump must win reelection.
Donald Trump must win reelection.
Donald Trump must win reelection.
He simply must. Triumphantly. Magnificently. Via landslide. This is not a joke and not a drill. I don’t care if you hate him or his hair or his hands or his ties or his whatever. He is America’s best chance. Its only chance. And if you want these libturd Demoncrats near the accelerator, ready to inflict on this nation the Green New Spiel or Master Beto at the controls of the Second Amendment’s evaporation . . . if you think AOC’s a groovy alternative to reality or if you like the hoary and wizened Bernie, spiting a socialist shit storm of logolalia hidden as dreamy progressiveness, you’re in for the fight of your life. Because after COVID19 goes the way of bygone pandemics (before election day, I add), we’re going to be focused and lasered on MAGA2020 and returning the greatest President in my lifetime back for round two. When the shit will absolutely and completely hit the fan. When the finishing touches are made. Call it the plan, the awakening or plain old justice. Either way, it’s happening. So join the winning team, get out of the way or prepare to be trampled.
Faith, patriots.